The Birth Story of David McDowell

Wednesday, March 31st – 40 weeks, 4 days

Jasmin and Allison, my midwives, came to see me today for my weekly prenatal appointment, and just to visit. They brought dinner for tonight too, which was really nice. Everything is going fine with both me and the baby. Allison made a weight estimate of 8 lbs 2 oz. I feel huge and uncomfortable, as I have gained about 5 more pounds with this pregnancy than my previous two, and seem to be retaining some water. Despite all that, and the fact that I'm past my due date, I still don't feel like the baby will come any time soon. Both times before I had several days of prodromal labor before the real thing kicked in, and I haven't been having much in the way of contractions yet. We chatted for a long time about how things were going, and about the stresses of the day. (Geren, my oldest, had not slept well and I have been up with him since 5 am because he was having trouble breathing. We ended up taking him to the
doctor for allergic bronchitis, having chest xrays to rule out other problems, and starting him on breathing treatments. He hasn't ever had a problem like this before, and our regular pediatrician was out of the office, so it was worse trying to deal with someone I didn't know.) We all talked about how tired I am and how I need to get a good night's sleep tonight.


Later in the afternoon I begin having diarrhea, and by dinner time I am somewhat nauseous. I wonder if this might be some prelabor signs, but since I haven't had my days of prodromal labor yet, I figure it's
probably stress related. (I'm really good at denying labor :-) Once we finally get the boys to bed around 9 pm, I call Allison to talk to her about what's going on. I'm so tired, but I feel like I won't be able to go to sleep. We had discussed the possibility of me drinking a glass of wine or something before bedtime to help me sleep, but I tell her I don't think I can stomach that with the nausea. So, she suggests I take
50mg of Benedryl instead. By now it's around 9:30 pm, and I make my nightly call to my mom to let her know how I'm doing. I tell her about the diarrhea and nausea, but tell her I don't think I'm going into labor yet as I'm still not having any contractions. She agrees that taking the Benedryl is probably a good idea, so when I get off the phone around 9:45 I do just that, and plan to take a nice soak in the birth tub before bed. All I can think about is getting some rest, and about how I really don't want to go into labor exhausted again. But not 15 minutes later, I start having contractions. I hop into the tub, thinking that between the Benedryl and the warm water I can settle things down and get some sleep. I still don't think it's labor, but maybe the start of my prodromal stuff. (Did I mention I'm good at denial?) Read watches me for a couple of minutes, then declares that he's going to time me for a bit.
The contractions are about 4-5 minutes apart, right from the start. He decides it's time to call Allison, and at least give a “heads-up” to my parents and my friends who are coming for the birth.


10:15 pm - Read calls Allison and updates her. I talk to her briefly, and she tells me that she and Jasmin are on their way to dinner, but that they will come by and see me if I want them to. I tell them to go on to dinner, and then call me afterwards. Read calls my mom to tell her that it looks like this could be it (although I still don't think so). Unfortunately, she and my dad have been fighting some of the same
allergy stuff that Geren has, and she had just taken two Tylenol pm, thinking she needed to get some sleep so that she'd be ready if I went into labor. Dad has taken medication as well. There's no way they can drive now, so she tells him that she plans to lie down for a couple of hours and then head up. Next on the list is my friend Kary, who I've known since childbirth classes with Geren, and who let me see my first birth with the homebirth VBAC of her second child. Kary is finishing up her childbirth educator certification and still needs another observation birth, so it only seems fair to return the favor. Then Read calls Brook, a homeschooling friend that I have only recently gotten to know, but “clicked” with really quickly. She has four children of her own, but all have been induced hospital births. We got to talking about homebirth a couple of months ago, and when she gets pregnant again she would like to go that route. So, I invited her to come and help video so that she could see what it was all about. He lets both of them know that we think it might be tonight, and to keep the phone handy. My mother-in-law, Florence, is already here helping out with the boys. Read takes a quick shower and when he gets out I tell him I've had 4 contractions while he was in the bathroom (12 minutes).


10:45 pm – Allison calls back, and by this time I'm ready for her to come check on me. The contractions are 2-3 minutes apart, and I'm starting to believe that I'm actually in labor, although I still think it's really early labor. Read calls Kary and Brook to update them and tell them that they can head over whenever they want. I can't seem to get comfortable anywhere; I'm in and out of the birth tub, on the birth ball, on hands and knees, lying on the bed, and have to keep going to the bathroom to pee.


11 pm – Allison and Jasmin arrive. Jasmin listens to the baby and checks my blood pressure. Finally I get back into the tub to stay, as it seems that's about as comfortable as I can get. The lights are off; it's quiet and dark. Allison and Jasmin leave us alone to work. Read is great the whole time, very encouraging and providing lots of hands on support. He keeps telling me how great I'm doing and how quickly things are going. I think he's nuts, and still think it's going to be a long time. I confide to him that labor is really overwhelming this time around; for the first time I find myself somewhat scared of labor and doubting my ability to handle it. The contractions seem so much more painful than I expect them to be at this point, and I'm tired and frustrated to be laboring after such a stressful day. Plus, I keep thinking, this baby's going to be born on April Fool's Day, which is the one day I really didn't want for the baby's birthday (I've always hated April Fool's Day and the associated practical jokes).


12 midnight, 1 April – I'm struggling with the contractions more now. Read spends a lot of time rubbing my back, providing counterpressure, and doing hip squeezes. He keeps telling me it won't be much longer now. I still think he's nuts :-) He gets Allison to come in and make some comment about how lousy transition is, and I think she's crazy too. I notice how emotional I'm getting, how indecisive, and how I'm starting to moan with the contractions. A part of me thinks “he could be right,
this could be transition” but I just can't believe things have really gone so quickly. It's funny the things you get hung up on; I haven't had any bloody show yet, and keep thinking that I can't be that far along if I haven't even had bloody show yet! Kary and Brook have arrived and after talking with the midwives for a few minutes they get busy taking pictures.


Shortly before 1 am – I get a moderate urge to push, and start to go with it. Allison asks me if I want Geren here for this, and I tell her I don't know. I hate to wake him after such a hard day. But she knows that we'll both be sad if he misses it, so she and Flo go to get him. He's pretty sleepy at first, but soon wakes up and is very excited. I push for a bit but it just doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere. After
checking to make sure I don't have lip left Jasmin suggests that Read sit on the edge of the tub and I hang from his knees in a squat. I try that for a while but it doesn't feel right either. A couple of pushes in
hands and knees – no good. Then I try sitting on my knees hanging on to the side of the tub and pulling back for a while. Nothing feels right, and everything hurts so much, even between contractions. It's hard to tell when the contraction is over, as my back and belly both still hurt. Finally Allison tells me that the reason it's so rough this time around is that the baby is posterior and asynclitic. Oh, goodie. That's just what I wanted to hear. All that time spent trying to maintain good posture to get the baby in a good position, and the little rascal turns out to be posterior (he changed positions a lot, even at the end of the pregnancy). Everyone is encouraging me and trying to boost my spirits. I hear Geren telling me how proud he is of me for working hard to get thebaby out, and he gives me a kiss. We decide to try a different position again; Read sits on the edge of the tub on one side, I'm sitting/squatting on the other side, and then I hold his hands and pull during pushing. This seems to work better than anything else. I'm making progress, but don't believe it, so Allison has me reach down and touch the head. After a while longer they're saying the baby has moved down more, but I feel the head again and can't tell there has been any change. Finally Jasmin tells me to get up and walk to the bathroom and back. It seems like an impossibility. But, I get up and do it, with a lot of help. In the bathroom I have a contraction and hang on to Jasmin while I'm standing. This time I can really feel the baby moving down. Jasmin calls for Allison and tells her that she can't catch the baby while holding me up. I get a short break and sit down on the toilet for the next contraction. Allison is watching me push and reminds me I don't want to be out of the water for crowning, so they help me get back in the tub. At this point I'm really starting to feel like this is never going to be over, that I'll never be able to get the baby out. I'm really, really tired and it hurts a lot. But everyone keeps telling me how great I'm doing, and so I keep at it. I can tell from the oohs and aahs from the peanut gallery that the head must be visible. Jasmin says I've got big bag of bulging waters in front of the head, and that I might find it easier to push if she went ahead and broke them. I say ok, and sure enough it really does help. Soon the baby is crowning – such an intense feeling. I feel like I am going to split in two. Finally the head is out! Baby had finally turned and was born OA. But instead of restituting normally, he looks to one side, then back down, the to the other side, then back down, then back to the first side before settling there. Meanwhile I'm thinking “what's taking this baby so long!” I want him out so badly, and keep saying “out, out, get out!” He has a little
bit of shoulder dystocia, but works it out on his own. As the rest of his body is born Jasmin checks him and tells me he has a loop of cord around his neck, so I help remove it and then pick him up out of the
water. As I'm lifting him up I reach down and feel that he's a boy! I snuggle him up close and we start getting to know each other. The midwives wrap us in a towel and keep pouring water over us to keep us
warm. The only time he cries is the one time someone touches his head – it hurts! Geren and Read are outside the tub close by, watching over us. Read brings me some orange Recharge, and it tastes SO good. Soon the phone rings – it's my mother. She's about halfway here. Read breaks the news to her – she missed the birth. I know she's sad, but it couldn't be helped. At least she'll be here soon.


After a little while I am ready to get out of the tub. I hand the baby to Read, and the midwives help me get out and move to the bed. I get settled on the pillows and begin to nurse. He catches on pretty quickly – I'm lucky three times over in that regard now. Allison asks me what I want to eat. After a quick survey of what's in the kitchen, I opt for cinnamon rolls, and Allison feeds them to me. I deliver the placenta – it's a big, healthy one. Geren cuts the cord, with a little help from Read. The midwives take Brook and Kary into the other room to give them a quick lesson on placental anatomy, leaving Read and I alone with our new little man. We discuss names quickly, and decide to wait until my
mom gets here to announce our choice.


3:15 am – Joshua wakes up and is rather bewildered by the commotion, but he doesn't cry. He climbs up in our bed and keeps looking at the baby like “where did that come from?” I snuggle him some and watch him a little nervously, as we're not sure how he will take the new arrival. But he doesn't seem bothered by me holding the baby, or by the fact that he's nursing. Brook has to head home, so we tell her good-bye and thank you. Shortly afterwards mom arrives; dad was feeling so bad that he stayed home. We tell Geren the baby's name and let him announce it to everyone : David McDowell King. While both Read and I do just like the name David, it is also in memory of my dad's brother who died several years ago of a brain tumor. McDowell is from Read's side of the family; it's his grandfather's middle name. After the naming Jasmin gets started on the newborn exam. We all watch as she weighs him: 8 lbs 12 oz, exactly the same as Joshua was. He is 21 inches long, with a 14 ¼ inch head and chest. He passes his exam with flying colors. Read puts on his first diaper and gets him dressed, and it's time for a few more pictures. The boys take turns holding him and we all comment on “my three sons”. It is a beautiful family indeed.


4:30 am – Everything is cleaned up, and the midwives and Kary are headed out to breakfast. More good-byes and thank yous. Geren and Joshua head back to bed with the grandmas, and Read and I settle into our bed with David. I'm exhausted. I can't believe he's really here, that I did it. Just yesterday evening I had no clue that he was on his way, and now we're already done. I'm still a little overwhelmed by the day's events, and I know it will take some time to process everything. But not now. Now I sleep. Welcome earthside, my love.


19 April 2004 – David is two weeks old now, and up to 10 lbs already. I'm always amazed at how the time flies and how quickly little ones grow. He's changed so much in our short time together. He's amazing, beautiful, and I love him dearly. It took us a few days to warm up to each other, to recover from our rough night. His birth was tough, and nothing like what I expected. But it was a good birth all the same. I had wonderful, supportive friends and family here with me – I couldn't have done it without them. Read was amazing; so astute in judging my progress, in knowing how to meet my needs, both physical and emotional. My midwives were great, letting me labor however I needed to, but still being available to give me suggestions when I felt lost. And it's so special to me that my friends were here to encourage me and to provide me with such wonderful pictures and video. I thank God for the gift of
David, and for bringing us both through his birth smoothly and without complications. It was nothing short of miraculous.